i guess I should start at the beginning.  I am the middle child of 5.  That means for me that I have no specialness about me.  My sister is three years older than me...she was the first born, and the first girl.  Then came me...not the first girl, not the first child.  Then my brother was born, three years after me...the first boy, pride of my dad...then came my sister...the baby girl....then came my brother..the last child..the baby boy....  i was the mean one growing up.  the one that acted like nothing mattered and that I didn't give a damn about this and that....when deep in my heart all I wanted to be was special.

I went to a private Lutheran Grade School (k-8).  My parents were very active in the church and school.  My mom was the president of the PTA for as long as I could remember.  My mom was a leader and she did her job very well.  My dad, even though he got active fairly late (we became members the same year, 1989) was president of the congregation.  My point to this is that, when you have active parents in your home, school and church life....you kind of distort the lines of when home ends and school begins, where school ends and church begins, etc.  I always thought i was soo popular at school and church.  I had a cocoon built around me that was fairly impenetrable.  Needless to say when went to High School, it was a private Lutheran School, so the cocoon was still intact.  My real...REAL life did not begin until my Jr. Year in High School...

Starting out

Hello,

this blog was created to document a new journey in my life. I am 33 years old. I am a wife. I am a mother to three (5 if you count the dogs). Somewhere in the last 13 years, I have lost myself....I am on a search for the girl I was, and the woman I should have been....